the other day i believe the good Lord himself tried to give me a glimpse of how hard this whole having-two-kids-less-than-two-years-apart-gig is going to be.
i was making leif breakfast and unloading the dishwasher at the same time (don't worry, i'm aware i'll have to let go of this multi-tasking i've just managed to get back when K2 arrives) when leif decided to "help" me with the dishes. he started grabbing plates and glasses, rather unsteadily, and trying to hand them to me.
not wanting to discourage such a helpful heart and attitude, i did my best to adjust and keep up with his pace. but alas, i could not. because after rescuing a plate from certain doom and stacking it on the shelf, i heard a crash behind me and turned around to see leif with shattered glass all around his little footie pajamas. he looked up, quite innocently, and asked broken?
yes, baby, broken. it's OK. you're a great little helper.
but let's go sit in our high chair because breakfast is ready
(and your mama wants to clean up all of this glass without you under her feet).
later that morning, my little independent boy decided he needed wheat thins and he just couldn't wait for his mama to get them for him. i had just answered a phone call from a prospective doula and so when he grabbed the box from the pantry i thought, no harm in that, he'll stay busy snacking for a few minutes while i wrap this up. i swear he was out of sight for less than 2 minutes when i went searching for him. i found him reading in his room, blankets tucked around him, in my glider. the crackers, on the other hand, had been turned up-side-down on his bed and the dog was dutifully vacuuming them up with his mouth. after i shoed trooper away, i salvaged the untouched crackers and put them back in the bag, threw away troopers half eaten ones and started to head to the kitchen to get the dust buster for the crumbs. leif followed me, because he remembered at that moment that he absolutely had to have crackers for snack. he was quite annoyed that i was going to put them away. as i rounded the corner to the kitchen, there was my dog, throwing up piles of wheat thins everywhere. leif curiously watched trooper for a minute, out of genuine concern, asking trooper OK?
no baby, trooper is sick.
finally trooper was done and i started cleaning up the mess. by now leif demanded to have the bag of crackers back. FINE! i thought... eat them while i work on this. i handed him the bag, which had just a few crackers and the crumbs left. well, leif got a little frustrated that the crackers were all of the way at the bottom of the bag, so he decided to problem solve (so intelligent that little man of mine) and get them out of the bag... by dumping them all over the living room floor.
keeping trooper at bay, i made leif help me pick them up (which goes a little something like, one for leif, one for mama until it's all cleaned up... it also makes it something like twice the clean up time). then i put leif in his high chair with two crayons and a piece of paper so that i could finish cleaning up dog puke and dust bust the two piles of crumbs in two different rooms of my house.
these jobs took a few minutes. as in, leif was hardly out of my site and he was contained. when i got back to his high chair, i found his paper on the floor and his entire tray (and upper lip) colored red.
it might have been about then that i looked into the heavens and said,
Lord have mercy on us...
we're going to have two of them in a few weeks!
i mean, i knew going into this that leif would be almost two when our next one was born... but i guess i also thought his "terrible twos" would hit when he was like, 2 years and 2 months... enough time for me to figure out and learn our next child... not 5 weeks before our next child joined us when leif was still 3 months away from turning 2.
but i should have known... because for the last couple of weeks, kjaer and i had been commenting to each other about how leif seemed to be picking up some "two year old-ish" traits. we speculated that maybe it came from the little 2 year old at daycare... who is very much in the throws of his "terrible twos". we know this because at the daycare's secret santa exchange, he marched over to leif and ripped his new toy out of his hands, screaming "MINE!!!"
kjaer would probably tell you this story a little less dramatically... like, oh... he was just confused. he thought it was his toy. he took it from leif, but he eventually gave it back!
(after MUCH persuasion by his parents i might add.)
the whole time this happened, leif stood there a little shell shocked and then said very matter-of-factly, "my tractor!" (which it was). eventually the issue was resolved and all was well. and truth be told, i probably wouldn't be so hard on the kid if i hadn't witnessed him do the same thing a few weeks earlier when picking leif up from daycare one afternoon.
so over christmas break, when leif starting claiming territory all over the house as MINE, it was easy to point fingers at his cute little daycare friend since i had witnessed this behavior before.
but then leif started something else during break... which may or may not be from this little boy. when he's mad and doesn't get his way, he commands you to perform with the word NOW. and, i must say, it's like my little dude's head starts to spin and his voice drops an octave lower when he pulls out this freshly learned word.
not happy with mommy? want daddy NOW.
not happy with daddy? want mommy NOW.
cold? want blankie NOW.
the other night at dinner, leif was feeling particularly feisty... trying to boss kjaer and i around. we'd done a pretty good job of dealing with his grumpiness and overall terrible two-ness. he had thrown his chocolate milk cup on the floor for the umpteenth time and kjaer and i had removed it from his tray. i had started cleaning up dishes and leif looked at kjaer with the cutest and yet scariest scowl i have ever seen and demanded... want chocolate milk NOW.
kjaer, tired of being pushed around by middle and high schoolers all day long, wasn't going to stand for it. he gently explained that leif needed to ask nicely by saying want chocolate milk please. you might be thinking that this is absurd to ask a 1 year old. but we have worked really hard with leif on him asking with please and receiving with thank you. and to be honest, for a 21 month old... he does pretty darn good at saying please and thank you on his own... when he's in the right mood. so it's not like kjaer was asking him for the moon. he wanted to hear four simple words: want chocolate milk PLEASE.
well, leif looked at him like, not on your life buddy, and very loudly proclaimed, NO! want chocolate milk NOW.
and i'm telling you... kjaer stood his ground for a solid 5 or 10 minutes while they went back and forth like this. there was this little wimpy shadow inside of me that was about to beg kjaer to just hand him the milk so we could be done with this stupid argument. but in the end, after lots of NOWs and gentle reminders to say please, leif twiddled his thumbs, protested with a few cries and said, more milk please, whilst staring angrily at his tray.
and that was that.
his mama was standing there thinking... oh lord, have we got it coming or what?!?!
because let me tell you something about my little dude... that child has an iron will. he is fiercely independent and very stubborn. i've known this about him since i was pregnant with him... go ahead and roll your eyes, but it's true. he would be kick, kick, kicking away and the instant i would take his daddy's hand (or anyone else's for that matter) and lay it on my tummy, i could literally feel him turn and give them the cold shoulder. he's so strong willed, he wouldn't evict from my womb!!! i never did go into labor after going to the acupuncturist 4 times and chiropractor 3 times, walking many rounds (albeit slow and breathless) around the blocks and doing every-god-forsaken-thing doctors and friends tell you to do to go into labor several times a day. when he was born, the doctor had to pull him from behind part of my hip bone because he had wedged himself up there in an effort to keep from dropping (remember, he had dropped and moved back up?) when he was an infant, i knew he was strong willed... i learned this while trying to learn how to breastfeed. when i told others this, i think they thought i was complaining about him... and maybe in a way i was. but i think i was more shocked because i didn't know this little 8 pound cutie patootie could have so much spunk from day one.
but to be honest, i LOVE that he's so spunky. i LOVE that one of his first and favorite words was NO (even though that was quite shocking to hear from a wee little one who couldn't even walk yet). because i think it means that later in life, others won't be able to push him around. he has the cojones to stick up for himself and what is right and say NO while meaning it. and i hope he says NO to all sorts of things, especially as he gets into high school and college. i hope he sticks to his guns, like he did with his chocolate milk showdown with his daddy.
there's a part of me that is beginning to see the awesome privilege of taking my child's hand and teaching him about choices, respect and boundaries. and then there's a part of me that's scared to death of failing... especially when leif is turning the corner into a pivotal stage of development and my hands are going to suddenly be full with a brand new baby.
but it's then that i remember a promise from Jeremiah 29:11 "I know the plans I have for you, " declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." and i know that not only is this promise for kjaer and i... but for our beautifully, wonderfully created masterpiece of a son.
it's comforting to know that in spite of our successes and failures, because i'm sure there will be plenty of both, the Lord has plans to prosper each of us. no matter what kjaer and i do, ultimately, the Lord has my little leif in the palms of his hands... shaping him to become the man he has created him to be... a man who will stick to his guns, be fiercely loyal, independent and yet sensitive and caring towards others. so no matter what happens over the next few months... because i'm sure there will be plenty of chaos (and probably a sobbing mama every so often) we will all come through refined and stronger... including our little man whom we love to pieces and wouldn't trade for any other two year old in the world.
let's just hope that over the next couple of months,
our house doesn't fall apart in the process!
No comments:
Post a Comment